So Let's Dance, The Last Dance

Tomorrow we leave for home. After almost three weeks in Australia, it's time to go home and get back to reality. Part of me is glad, ready to go home and get creative again, get back into my routine of writing. But, a big part of me will be sad once I'm sitting in that plane seat (and not just because I'm stuck there for 13 hours.) This place is magical to me, and it has been again this time.

So much good stuff, it is hard to list it all. Tim Tams and Lemonade. Exhausting but exhilarating walks. The sights, the sounds. The hot firefighter who smiled at me. It was all good. Even the bad stuff was good. That's how vacation is.

But, now life beckons. I have contracts to sign and send, stories to finish and send and so much more. It is time to spill the beans to everyone in my life that this is it. This is who I am and this is what I want to do. So I will bid Australia a fond farewell and look forward to seeing those United States I love so much.

(There are things I will not miss about Australia too. . .(only a few) No unsweetened Iced Tea. No free drink refills. The fact that books are so dang expensive. The unfavorable exchange rate. The lack of ice in general. No Cool Ranch Doritos. )

So, I shall return soon to writing more regularly. Until then, G'day.

One of Us Has to Drive, One of Us Gets to Think

Good things are always around. Sometimes you just have to look for them. I just found out, while passing my time in Sydney, Australia, that I am to appear in the upcoming anthology Tasting Him, edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel. Also, one of my stories is slated to appear in the magazine Bust, in the August/September issue.

It is such a relief to finally have my work published. I hope that this is a sign of things to come. While I am halfway across the world, it is nice to know that I'm still accomplishing things. This vacation has been more productive than any other I've ever been on.

So check out my work in those locations and let me know what you think.

You Better Run, You Better Take Cover

Well, we've arrived in Sydney, and after some comedy, some sleep and some great tea, we are ready to hit the city yet again. Rove McManus was hilarious last night, and our nap in the afternoon was epic.

Just before we took off, I finally got some great news, and it looks like my work will be finding its way into the world. It was such a great way to leave the country. But, why does Australia have to be so far away?

Anyway, now that I am feeling more normal, the creativity seems to be flowing again. Look out world, who knows what this place will do to me?

Are You Hiding Somewhere Behind Those Eyes?

Just too much to do this weekend. Here is an excerpt from one of my recent stories to tide you over until next week.


"You don’t make me feel uncomfortable, just exposed. I guess that is the best way to say it. I feel like you can read my mind, even if you can't."
Again, I was awestruck at how corny I was, but he just smiled a little half smile, and took one more drag of my cigarette, before dropping it into an empty beer can.
"Maybe I can." He turned to me, hand back on my thigh, a little higher this time. He paused and leaned slightly forward towards me. "Because, I know you want me. And I think, every time you’ve zoned out this weekend, you’ve been thinking about me."

I tried not to seem shocked, but I knew I was failing miserably. He could read my mind, that bastard. Or was I just that obvious?
"Well, we like ourselves a lot, don’t we?"
"Fine, then I'm wrong. But, I have to tell you, if you wouldn't keep looking away, you might see that you aren't the only one with something to hide."
I took a moment to process what he has just said, and before I could answer, he was speaking again.

"The question is, if that is how we feel, what are we going to do about it?"
He was leaning closer to me, his hand massaging the inside of my thigh, causing my breath to catch in my throat. I didn’t think a verbal response was in the cards at this point. So I decided to act. I reached my hand down to his muscled forearm, feeling its firm surface. It was covered in a sheet of tattoos that extended up and beyond the border of his shirt sleeve. I started pushing his hand, slowly, higher and higher, until his long, thin fingers were resting between my now spread legs. I didn’t know where I was getting the nerve, but I knew that I couldn’t stop. I wanted him too much to turn back.

Now, it seemed, I couldn’t look away from his eyes. I wanted him to see. I willed him to see all the things I had been thinking and feeling, all the things I had been wanting from him all weekend. He was gently rubbing my clit through my jeans, leaning forward until he is just inches from my face. I felt his breath, warm and moist against my lips, smelling vaguely of pot and beer. He was closer still, his lips just barely grazing mine. I opened my mouth, just a little, and I didn’t know where the words came from, but I had to say it.
"Kiss me." It didn’t even sound like me. It was like it was coming from somewhere else, someone else. He smiled again. It started with just a sweep across my mouth, our lips rubbing so gently, it almost tickled. It was all I can do to stop myself from grabbing him and pulling him to me, but I didn't. I just enjoyed the tease, the game. The hand between my legs was suddenly gone, and I moaned quietly in disappointment. Before I could protest any further, he was pulling me into his lap, so I was straddling him, right there on the couch.

I tilted my hips ever so slightly, my clit pressing into the erection I now felt through his jeans. He pulled me forward, to kiss me. But, now it was my turn to be a tease. I kept my lips hovering just above his, until he wound his fingers roughly through my hair, just like I imagined he would, and pulled my mouth down on top of his. He pushed his tongue into my mouth and I sucked on it hard. His hands relaxed and moved out of my hair, down to my shoulders. Our tongues, sliding deeply in and out of each other’s mouths, moved in time to my hips grinding into his pelvis.

His mouth moved away from mine, sucking and biting the skin where my shoulder and neck meet. I closed my eyes and sighed as his arms wrap around me, crushing my tits into his hard chest. Suddenly, we both froze when we heard Andrew stirring, both of us aware of him for the first time. My heart felt like it is going to pound out my chest, partly from Andrew’s sudden movement, but mostly because of Jason’s body under mine. We both turned our heads to look at him, waiting. He shifted his head from side to side and then slumped further into the cushions, filling the space I had vacated on the sofa. His body, now horizontal, slumped toward the front of the couch, and he started snoring.

Mistress Never Tells a Lie

God, what a long week it has been. After waiting and waiting for some good news, I finally gave up. And, I'm finally coming clean about what I've been doing. I was hesitant to tell anyone about my writing, since I didn't have a lot to show for it yet. But, I got over myself and realized that the only way to make it real, was to share it with other people.

So far, the reaction has been good. I can't wait until I can hold a book in my hand that has my name in it. Hopefully, someday soon that will happen. Until then, I just have to keep on writing.

Restless, Hopeful, in the Silence I Wait

Just got back from a mini-road trip. It was nice to get out of town for a day. Not much else going on, I'm blocked at the moment, but hoping it will be short lived. I have one story ready to come out, it is just being difficult. I want to have it done soon.

I've got a short road trip coming up next week too. Then, the big one. Three weeks in Australia. I'm hoping it proves to be very inspirational. Until then, I'll just have to keep on pushing.

I'm Drinking Hennessy with Morrissey

It is raining today, and while it seems the sun may come out, I wish it wouldn't. I know it is a monstrously bad cliche, but I do love a good rain. Throw on some Viva Hate and just gloom a little. It's fun for me.

I've got three stories turning around in my head. I'm not sure which one will win the battle for first place, but the pieces are there. Sometimes it is so hard to focus on just one set of characters, or just one scene. I tend to jump back and forth. I am often in the middle of at least two things at once. Multi-tasking is good, but sometimes I wish I had more focus and clarity. I guess I'll just have to put that stuff on my wish list too. Somewhere between fame and fortune and Jimmy Bartel.

I Breed, Deep in Me a Beautiful Thing

I love the feeling I get after I send out a story. The sense of completion, the sense of accomplishment, it always gets me. As I stated before, the waiting to hear back from people about my stories isn't always fun, but I love clicking send on my email and watching it get whisked away into cyberspace.

More importantly, I just enjoy writing. Thinking of new ideas, being creative, getting my ideas on paper (well, not so much paper as on screen). In all the jobs I've had, I've never felt like I made much of a difference, or got to challenge myself in any way. Writing, even if nothing comes of it, has made me feel better than almost anything.

In 25 days, I'll be on the other side of the world, still clacking away on my laptop, with new stars in the sky. I can't wait.

You Answer Every Question With a Riddle

What does it take to make someone hot? What is it going to take to get them off, to get them excited by my stories?

That is a terribly good question, one I find difficult to answer. I know what I like, what gets me going. By default, I go to those things when I begin to write. It is harder for me to take into consideration what others may want to read, what others may need to see. I try to read as much as possible, to see what else is out there, to consider stories from all angles and points of view. Expanding my horizons is one of the reasons I write, and specifically, write erotica. I think there are so many possibilities, so many choices.

Sexuality is so often swept under the rug, hidden or not discussed in "polite society." If something I write can speak to even one person, help them find a small part of what excites them, well, that is what I do this for. Expressing what is in me, and hoping other people relate to it; isn't that what we all want?

I Need Backup, I Need Company, I Need to be Inspired

I don't understand why my inspiration has to be so fickle. Sometimes, I can't get my mind to shut up. Mostly, when I lay down to sleep at night, it is running a mile a minute, and I can't get the laptop out fast enough. But, then. . . during daylight hours, I sit and stare at my half finished story, and nothing. Nothing witty or sexy comes to mind. Not even something remotely usable. I'm still trying to figure out how to harness the inspiration when I need it. The process has been slow. I find I work best when I know the deadline is looming. The pressure seems to help, but it is not always the most convenient time. Sometimes I want to finish stuff early. I've been trying to finish two stories for weeks now. I'm close, but not there yet.

But, I guess as long as I'm writing it shouldn't matter. I just want to keep getting better.

Where it Began

This blog is meant to be a documentation of my journey as a writer. I haven't known where to start, so I haven't written a thing. But, lately, I've been feeling so many things, I don't know where else to put my thoughts down.

I've always known I wanted to write, but I've been so scared to let other people see my stuff that I've only recently attempted to publish my work, after a long hiatus from writing for real. Sure, I've blogged, but I want more. I want to see my name in print, I want to make this my life.

So, I've started sending out my work to see what will happen. So far, the preliminary response has been good. But, the waiting has been tough. You send your stuff out, and you wait. And, wait. Hoping and praying that your work will be liked, be accepted, be printed. I have tried to stay as patient as possible, but it is not always easy. I know these editors and publishers are insanely busy. And, they have a huge amount of writing to get through. I can only hope that my stuff is good enough to make an impression, and in time my work will get where it belongs.

So, to that end, I'm going to try and keep the faith, keep sending out my stuff, and most of all, keep writing. I welcome any input and comments. To whoever may find this blog, however you find it. I just want to write. Sure, and make tons of money and be like JK Rowling. But, for now, I'll take a little good fortune.