Friday, April 29, 2011

Would You Lie With Me and Just Forget the World?

In honor of With This Ring, I Thee Bed, I thought I'd give you all just a little taste of my story, Speak Now. It's not your typical wedding story, but I just love it. I hope you do too. Please to enjoy.

He smirked, setting the flashlight on the dresser. The circle of light gave the room an eerie glow. He ran his hand over the back of his neck, his unease obvious. I sat down on the edge of the bed and watched him pace around the room.

“So, what are you doing here, Trevor? Don’t tell me its cold feet?”
“You knew I was coming. I sent in my little card.”
“I guess I just thought . . . I don’t know what I thought.”

He picked up the invitation, looking at it like he’d never seen it before. I watched his eyes, moving over each word in silence. Hitting it against his hand, he looked at me. Even in the dim light, I could still see the apprehension all over his face.

“It’s been too long, Greg.”
“Well, you know. Life has gotten a little complicated.”
“Tell me about it. I understand now why people elope. It is amazing that people get married at all.”

He walked towards me, sitting down gently on the brand new double bed. I could smell the alcohol on him, but he didn’t seem drunk. I decided to placate him, despite my churning stomach.

“I know you and Jessica will be happy together.”
“How can you be so sure?”

I looked at his face for the joke, but I found his face serious and stern. He looked scared. I didn’t know what to say to him.

“I just assumed you were sure before you asked her.”

I tried to laugh, but it died when his arm draped over my shoulder, our hips touching as we sat on the fluffy duvet. Trevor turned and looked at me, but I didn’t return his gaze. I couldn’t. I didn’t trust myself to see his eyes in that moment. He leaned closer to me, his lips right by my ear.

“Can I tell you a secret, Greg? Right now, I’m not sure at all.”

His breath was hot, but not as hot as his tongue, which swept across my ear lobe, shocking my mouth right open. Trevor, always one to take advantage, pulled my open mouth to his, kissing me deeply. I knew I should stop him, push him away, but I just let myself be kissed, let my tongue swirl around with his. Finally, reason took over and I managed to get free from Trevor’s strong grip. Standing up, I tried to quell the panic rising in my throat.

“Don’t, Trevor. Don’t.”

He followed me, not letting me go easily. His hands pulled at my waist, trying to get me back in his arms. I resisted, backed away. But, I only ended up against the wall, Trevor pinning me to the freshly changed wallpaper. It smelled of plastic and I willed my mind to focus on that, or anything but the feel of Trevor’s hands.

“Greg. Greg, look at me.”

I gave in, looking into his eyes, and I saw it. The same look I’d seen the first day we met, all
those years ago.

“Come on Greg. Don’t be mad at me.”
“You said this was over. That we were over. You’re about to be a married man. Don’t fuck with me, Trevor.”
“You could always do that. Make it all sound so easy. It’s not, you know.”
“It may not be easy, but it is simple. You love her, don’t you?”
“She has nothing to do with us.”
“She has everything to do with us.”
“I know what I said to you, but it’s not over. At least, it’s not for me. You left, but I could never get you out of my head. Or my heart. Tell me it’s over for you, Greg. Tell me you don’t love me anymore.”
“I can’t do that, Trevor.”
“So, ask me to stay.”

He smiled at me, his face softening at my encouraging words. But, I couldn’t give him
what he wanted.

“I can’t.”

He crisped up a little, bracing before he spoke again.

“Then, tell me to leave.”
“You know I can’t do that either.”

His fingers traced down my cheek, the cool slip of his thumb pressed over my bottom lip. My mind was being torn in two. The man I loved wanted me again, but I knew that come morning, he’d be gone, standing in a tuxedo in the front of the Lutheran church. While my brain screamed for reason, my heart leaped in my chest.

“What do you want me to do, Trevor? Tell me what to do.”
“Kiss me, Greg.”

It wasn’t easy or simple. I knew it. But, I shut it all out as I leaned forward, our mouths meeting in a fury of emotion, making up for every missed opportunity.

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