And It Was on Spring Break, So You Should Have Known

I like to think that I'm funny. People seem to laugh at my jokes, I'm fairly quick witted, and I'm an ardent supporter of sarcasm. So, it was clear to me when given the challenge of presenting a style/craft mini-lesson to my Non Fiction class, I would have to choose humor. And, I did. I highlighted several elements of humor and used an example for each one. It was so much fun pouring over my favorite authors, picking the best examples of their hilariousness. David Sedaris could have been my whole project, but I mixed it up with some Stephen Colbert and Bill Bryson.

The assignment actually made me a little worried. I put a lot of time into this project, going through several drafts of my presentation. I wasted a lot of paper. Not my paper, but paper none the less. I just wanted it to be perfect. Well, it turns out all my effort was well worth it. Despite a small turnout for class today, due to the impending Spring Break, we managed to have a very enjoyable and lively discussion. The teacher complimented me on my work several times, and I am not ashamed to say I was glowing a little after class.

So, I'm off from school for the next week. I have no plans to go to Cancun or Florida. But, who knows? Maybe I can still manage to get a little wild. I think there's a video camera around here somewhere.
_

Gotta Have a Look, See What You're Up To

Want to see how a disorganized writer works? Then, check out the notes I sent to Alison Tyler. I heeded her call to send in notes, so everyone can check out how haphazard my technique is. I do have notebooks, a file on my laptop, and I try to stay organized.

But, there are also little scraps of paper and other things I have stuff written on all over my house. It may not be the best system, but it is better than forgetting something. My favorite time to scrawl these notes? The middle of the night.

Alison has devoted a whole blog to this topic, which I think is so cool. It is called Scruffy Jottings about Filth. How much do I love that? Go there to check out my Sharpie mess, as well as musings from Sommer, Jeremy, Kristina and Rachel.
_

Wet Your Lips and Make Love to The Camera

I am absolutely obsessed with Rupaul's Drag Race. It is a fabulous show airing on Logo, that is out to find the next drag superstar of America. The show started out with 9 fierce queens, and after four episodes, we are now down to the Top 5. I have loved every minute of it. If you haven't seen it, fear not. Logo provides full episode videos on it's website so you can get caught up.

If I had to choose, I would say Shannel, Ongina (it rhymes with vagina) or Nina will walk away with the prize. But who knows, it could be Bebe or Rebecca Glasscock. Yes, that's right, I said Glasscock. You can't make this stuff up.

Drag queens and tolerant people everywhere were also excited about the news that George Mason University elected itself a drag queen Homecoming Queen. Ryan Allen, competing as Reann Ballslee, is a local drag star and managed to snag herself the crown in the half talent based, half student voted competition.

So, congratulations Reann. And, check out Rupaul's Drag Race. You won't be sorry.
_

So I Gave Notice And I Moved To The Top

Rachel Kramer Bussel was kind enough to send me a wonderful review of Tasting Him that was posted on Catalina Loves, a website devoted to the many loves of one Catalina. Her tag line is, "Class and Intellect with a Naughty Twist." She was kind enough to give me a lovely mention. This is what she had to say.

“This Just In,” by Heidi Champa, was hot to me because she relates a fantasy turned reality that I also hold, to be under his desk at work sucking his cock as he tries to keep it together and continue to do his job. In this case, it’s even hotter as there is an exhibitionist/voyeuristic twist to it - his job is as a broadcast journalist and she wants him to read the news as she sucks him off. Super duper hot. That added twist to the fantasy is really what made this a great story to me.

Needless to say, I was chuffed. Dead chuffed. It is so nice to know when people respond to what you do, and I'm glad to hear some great feedback every now and again.

Then, there was more good news. My story, Head Pin, is in the new anthology on Ravenous Romance called Sweaty Sex. It's all about sex and sports, which is right up my alley, to use a terrible pun. My story is all about the sexy world of bowling. I can hear you laughing, but I'm serious. If you don't believe me, run over to Ravenous and check it out for yourself. It will bowl you over. (God, somebody stop me, my puns have run amok.)
_

Don't Need Permission For Everything That You Want

He's like a living statue. How could he be any more perfect? Maybe if the sheet was gone. But, I'm not trying to be picky. Enjoy your Man Candy. I'm off to see a man about a horse.

_

She Said "A Latte, Double Shot For Judas"

This is one of my favorite skits from one of my favorite shows. The State never failed to make me laugh, and I've been waiting for the DVD for so long. Until that lovely day comes, I'll just have to settle for YouTube. Enjoy your Sunday Giggle.
_

But Man, I Still Think Them Cats Are Crazy

My boys are back in town. Well, back on the satellite anyway. I'm so glad it's time for footy again. The Geelong Cats kick off their NAB Cup pre-season tournament this morning at 3am against the Adelaide Crows. Man, I've missed them. And, who could blame me? God bless Australia and their adherence to tiny, tiny shorts.

While everyone is asleep, I will be awake watching cute boys play sports. Hope everyone else has a good weekend. I'll be spending my Saturday napping.
_

But I Know That I Believe That I've Found What's True

For my 100th post, I thought I would tackle a big issue. We've been talking a lot about telling the truth in my non-fiction class. Seems obvious to do so, but it isn't as simple as it sounds. What does being honest mean? Can anyone truly be 100% honest in their writing? When, or is embellishment okay in non-fiction? When does embellishment or creative license turn into lies and put you in front of a very angry Oprah? And, if everyone lies, can it really be so wrong? Is honesty really the best policy?

Two people can have a great time together at dinner. But, if you ask each one later about their experience, they would likely each recall the night differently. Are they lying? No. But, every one's experience is impacted by so many things. One person remembers the wine because they drank it before in Tuscany. The other person recalls a great anecdote because it reminded them of a person they knew in high school. It all happened, it's all true, but it is a totally different take on the same dinner. Sometimes, my husband and I can be talking about the same event, but to listen to us, you might think we had been on opposite sides of the world.

I guess that is why I am having so much fun with the truth. It is much more malleable than anyone really realizes. Who said nuance was reserved for fiction?

So, for the 100th time, I'm putting my thoughts out there, and seeing what happens. What do you say? Up for a little truth?
_

We Cheer and We Lead! We Act Like We're on Speed!

Just when I think Australia can't do anything more to make me love it, they go ahead and prove me wrong. The Penrith Panthers, a rugby league team, have signed up their first male cheerleader. Their first gay male cheerleader. His name is Aaron Neich. He showed up to the team's open audition and scored himself a spot on the squad. Not only is he fierce, he can cheer way better than the girls, as evidenced by the video. After all, they call their cheerleaders the Pink Panthers. . . so . . . Good on ya, Australia. Let's just hope he doesn't get picked on too much by the fans.
_

Feel The Word and Melt Upon It

So, it was back to school for me yesterday. Another assignment, another 95 percent. I'm beginning to sense a pattern. You know what is really sad, I keep wondering where that other 5 percent keeps going. Not that I'm not grateful for the 'A'. I'm just aiming high, is all.

I got to read my essay to the class. It was more nerve racking than I expected. I know I shouldn't care what other people think, but I do. I know the teacher loved it, but it would be nice to think some of my fellow students enjoyed it too. But, gold star collected. Now we are mining the soul for ideas for a memoir. God, I could write a million stories. Who doesn't have a ton of crazy, silly, embarrassing and meaningful things that have happened to them? Here's hoping one of them gets me the elusive 100%.

On an unrelated note, my author copy of Girl Fun One showed up yesterday. I love getting books in the mail. I just love getting mail of any kind. But, the kind with my stories in it always makes me smile.
_

So You Think I Got An Evil Mind, I Tell You Honey

I absolutely adore Alan Cumming. He is talented, charming and more importantly, hilarious. I'm sure with a name like Cumming, he's had a rough go of it in his life. But, instead of changing his name or disowning it, he created his own cologne called, "Cumming." Now, he apparently has a whole line of products. My favorite, "Cumming All Over" is a body lotion. But, they are all great. If I had some more money, I would buy them all right this minute. But, I may just have to save my pennies and get myself a very early birthday present.

His new show, "I Bought a Blue Car Today" is now taking the world by storm.
_

And, When I Go There, I Go There With You

I wonder how much it would cost to rent in a neighborhood like this. Who wouldn't want to live on this street?
_

I'm Gonna Let Myself Get Absolutely Soaking Wet

See, this is why I love Australia so much. These are two hot Rugby players showering together. Why you ask? Well, isn't it obvious? Their team is now being sponsored by an Eco-friendly company called Quantum Eco Hot Water. And, what would be the best way to promote that fact? To shower in public and take pictures of it, natch. We have, of course, seen Mr. Williams before, but say hello to his friend, Brett Stewart. Damn, how can you argue with a culture like that? Talk about Man Candy.

You're Doing Your Thing, And I Am Doing Mine

Because we all get angry, and sometimes we don't know what to do with it, here's this week's Sunday giggle. Enjoy!!

Due To Lack of Interest, Tomorrow's Canceled

Both of my classes were canceled today, and I'm bummed. Back in the day, if I had been handed a free day, it would have felt like a "get-out-of-jail-free" card. Even with the classes I actually liked, any reason to skip was a good reason.

But, all that seems to have changed. Apparently, my nerdiness is worse than I thought. What would the 20 year old me think? She would be sorely disappointed. I have turned into that which I feared most. A serious student.

But, it gets worse. The real reason I'm disappointed about missing class is because my Nonfiction Prose professor had asked me to share an essay I wrote last week with the whole class. He liked it so much, and thought it was so good that he wanted everyone else to hear it as an example of "strong voice, humor and wit." He had scrawled on the bottom of the last page, "Get this published, NOW!!"

Now, I'm the first to admit that I was shocked by his strong opinion of my work. I'm a fiction writer. What do I know of writing nonfiction? I took this class because I was, in my estimation, an amateur at this whole truth thing. Outside of some record reviews I did years ago, my life has been all about ficition. My inner nerd jumped at the chance to get a pat on the head, stand in front of the class and be hated by my fellow students as the teacher's pet. I have never in my life been the teacher's pet. I'm more of the smart-ass-in-the-back kind of girl. None of my former professors liked me all that much. To have one take a shine to me so quickly is a little disconcerting.

But, now I will have to wait until next week to share my story and get my gold star. What is a nerd to do?

_

Together We Will Rise, Out of Our Nightminds, and Into The Light At The End of The Fight

As a lover of Australia, I have been so saddened by the news and the pictures of the wildfires tearing apart Victoria. It is hard for me to imagine that kind of loss and devastation and what everyone is going through. My heart goes out to everyone affected by these tragedies. I wish there was more I could do here in America.

But, out of all the terrible stories has come one happy tale that has pulled at the heart strings of anyone who has seen it. This little koala, named Sam (pictured here with her bandaged feet), who was found by a firefighter and taken to safety. Her paws were badly burned, but she is expected to recover now that she has been rescued. And, even with all her hardships, she's managed to find a koala friend named Bob.

So I take this small glimmer of hope from all this pain and hope that Australia can recover quickly. And, I hope Sam and Bob will be very happy together.

*Anyone who wants to help can go here for more information.
_

I Want to Be The One to Walk in The Sun

Now, that my homework is nearly done, and my car is almost completely sparkly-clean, I can move onto my good news. Although, just between you and me, I'm not sure my car is totally clean yet. Maybe I should make him go over those dirty spots one more time.

The Xcite anthology, Girl Fun One, is now available for your reading pleasure. In addition to wonderful stories by the likes of Jeremy Edwards and Kristina Wright, you can find my story, Glass Houses. Please check it out and let me know what you think!

Now, back to finish those last few words. Oh, and get my Man Candy some more soapy water. I just don't think he's quite finished yet.

_

Well, Those Cars Never Seem to Stop Coming

How did the Universe know my car was so dirty? Enjoy your Man Candy Monday! I'll be back later with some news. I have homework to do.

_

But It's Against My Religion to be Working Fast

With the economy the way it is, we may all have to resort to desperate measures to find jobs. I thought this video might provide some inspiration. Plus, who doesn't need a giggle on a Sunday?

Stop Making the Eyes at Me, I'll Stop Making the Eyes at You

I'm just off to school, but I wanted to write a quick note and mention that Love Notes: A Music and Sex Anthology, is the book of the day over at Ravenous Romance.

This collection reunites me and my story, Limited Engagement, with some of my swinging, sexy friends: Jeremy, Emerald, Craig and Rachel. Rachel also did the honors editing this collection. So, run over to Ravenous and check it out. I'm sure it will get your pulse pounding, your head bobbing and well, whatever else you do when you listen to music.

Of course I was talking about music. What else would I mean? (I swear, you people have dirty minds!)
_

Oh No, I'm Not Too Cool

If there's one thing that going back to school has taught me, is that I am still as nerdy as ever. I thought that I had slayed the nerd within, gotten a wee bit cooler over the years. But, I'm afraid that is just not true. It was made evident to me today, that there is just going to be no hiding that nerdy girl from the rest of my classmates.

I got a 95 on my first graded assignment, and I was actually giddy. I wanted to show someone, but I didn't think any of my cooler-that-thou classmates would have been interested. I've found myself very easily falling back into the roll of the good student; seeking the approval of my professor as ardently as I ever did. I'm currently working on an assignment that I have tried to feign ambivalence about. But, deep down, I'm stressing. I want to do a good job, I want my teachers to think that I'm a good writer. So sue me.

As with my previous nerd-dom, I am just a hop skip and a jump away from staying after class and asking for extra credit. I shouldn't have to worry about getting hassled by the cool girls about my nerdiness. They're too busy to notice me now.
_

Can't This Car Go, Cause I Can Still See Where I Am

I absolutely love Post Secret. I started checking in every Sunday years ago to read the poignant, funny and sometimes downright sad secrets that people are brave enough to share with the world. I've even been so bold as to send some in myself. Every once and a while, I catch one that resonates with me at a particular moment in time. This week and right now, it's this.

Too often, I find myself feeling alone with my thoughts, alone with my ideas. I try and share them, but sometimes it feels like I'm reaching out and no one is there to grab my hand. I'm not asking for someone to agree or even sympathize. But, the word understand seems to fit exactly.

Enough of that. Chalk it up to a case of the Mondays. Don't think I've forgotten about the Man Candy. Here it is. Enjoy.