Restless, Hopeful, in the Silence I Wait

Just got back from a mini-road trip. It was nice to get out of town for a day. Not much else going on, I'm blocked at the moment, but hoping it will be short lived. I have one story ready to come out, it is just being difficult. I want to have it done soon.

I've got a short road trip coming up next week too. Then, the big one. Three weeks in Australia. I'm hoping it proves to be very inspirational. Until then, I'll just have to keep on pushing.

I'm Drinking Hennessy with Morrissey

It is raining today, and while it seems the sun may come out, I wish it wouldn't. I know it is a monstrously bad cliche, but I do love a good rain. Throw on some Viva Hate and just gloom a little. It's fun for me.

I've got three stories turning around in my head. I'm not sure which one will win the battle for first place, but the pieces are there. Sometimes it is so hard to focus on just one set of characters, or just one scene. I tend to jump back and forth. I am often in the middle of at least two things at once. Multi-tasking is good, but sometimes I wish I had more focus and clarity. I guess I'll just have to put that stuff on my wish list too. Somewhere between fame and fortune and Jimmy Bartel.

I Breed, Deep in Me a Beautiful Thing

I love the feeling I get after I send out a story. The sense of completion, the sense of accomplishment, it always gets me. As I stated before, the waiting to hear back from people about my stories isn't always fun, but I love clicking send on my email and watching it get whisked away into cyberspace.

More importantly, I just enjoy writing. Thinking of new ideas, being creative, getting my ideas on paper (well, not so much paper as on screen). In all the jobs I've had, I've never felt like I made much of a difference, or got to challenge myself in any way. Writing, even if nothing comes of it, has made me feel better than almost anything.

In 25 days, I'll be on the other side of the world, still clacking away on my laptop, with new stars in the sky. I can't wait.

You Answer Every Question With a Riddle

What does it take to make someone hot? What is it going to take to get them off, to get them excited by my stories?

That is a terribly good question, one I find difficult to answer. I know what I like, what gets me going. By default, I go to those things when I begin to write. It is harder for me to take into consideration what others may want to read, what others may need to see. I try to read as much as possible, to see what else is out there, to consider stories from all angles and points of view. Expanding my horizons is one of the reasons I write, and specifically, write erotica. I think there are so many possibilities, so many choices.

Sexuality is so often swept under the rug, hidden or not discussed in "polite society." If something I write can speak to even one person, help them find a small part of what excites them, well, that is what I do this for. Expressing what is in me, and hoping other people relate to it; isn't that what we all want?

I Need Backup, I Need Company, I Need to be Inspired

I don't understand why my inspiration has to be so fickle. Sometimes, I can't get my mind to shut up. Mostly, when I lay down to sleep at night, it is running a mile a minute, and I can't get the laptop out fast enough. But, then. . . during daylight hours, I sit and stare at my half finished story, and nothing. Nothing witty or sexy comes to mind. Not even something remotely usable. I'm still trying to figure out how to harness the inspiration when I need it. The process has been slow. I find I work best when I know the deadline is looming. The pressure seems to help, but it is not always the most convenient time. Sometimes I want to finish stuff early. I've been trying to finish two stories for weeks now. I'm close, but not there yet.

But, I guess as long as I'm writing it shouldn't matter. I just want to keep getting better.

Where it Began

This blog is meant to be a documentation of my journey as a writer. I haven't known where to start, so I haven't written a thing. But, lately, I've been feeling so many things, I don't know where else to put my thoughts down.

I've always known I wanted to write, but I've been so scared to let other people see my stuff that I've only recently attempted to publish my work, after a long hiatus from writing for real. Sure, I've blogged, but I want more. I want to see my name in print, I want to make this my life.

So, I've started sending out my work to see what will happen. So far, the preliminary response has been good. But, the waiting has been tough. You send your stuff out, and you wait. And, wait. Hoping and praying that your work will be liked, be accepted, be printed. I have tried to stay as patient as possible, but it is not always easy. I know these editors and publishers are insanely busy. And, they have a huge amount of writing to get through. I can only hope that my stuff is good enough to make an impression, and in time my work will get where it belongs.

So, to that end, I'm going to try and keep the faith, keep sending out my stuff, and most of all, keep writing. I welcome any input and comments. To whoever may find this blog, however you find it. I just want to write. Sure, and make tons of money and be like JK Rowling. But, for now, I'll take a little good fortune.